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What I Did Before Becoming a Therapist and All About Sex Therapy

If you’ve been seeking Sex Therapy you already know that Sex Therapists have a content area focus and specialization in sexuality related interventions and that nothing sexual happens in a room with a Sex Therapist! We are trained to create a safe environment for people to discuss any topic that concerns them in a non-judgement manner. 

I am not a certified Sex Therapist. However, I am one of the most qualified Sex Therapists you will meet. I went through a graduate program that was designed to fast track my application for certification as a Sex Therapist through the American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). I made a deliberate decision not to pursue certification after receiving my degree in Human Sexuality – Clinical Sex Therapy track. I chose to pursue training in trauma instead – specifically in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy instead. Before getting a graduate degree in Sex Therapy, I already had spent over ten years in the field of human sexuality. Let me tell your more about my background. 

I started working in women’s health clinics at the age of 17 and received on the ground training in sexuality counseling there. I learned to discuss the kinds of issues that people in sexual health clinics need to discuss – pregnancy, birth control, sexually transmitted infections, relationships, bodies, gender, sexual orientation, and sexual practices. I worked at a half dozen clinics of this type throughout high school and college and after college. I was an HIV peer test counselor. I spend two years working in the field of Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Violence. I eventually started working on the administrative side of sexual health for a Federal Title X funds grantee. 

After working at all levels of the non-profit world in the sexual health/education/counseling field, I decided I wanted to have more control over my own labor. As a mid-career professional, I attended graduate school for Sex Therapy and fell in love with therapy itself. I still work with many clients around sexuality focused topics but I am laser focused on being trauma informed broadly rather than credentialed in a narrower content area. I think of myself more as a therapist who primarily works with queer and trans people and people with trauma than a Sex Therapist. Many of my clients appreciate that they can be open with me about sexuality related topics that many other therapists don’t have training in or feel comfortable discussing. 


Couples and Relationship Counseling

One aspect of Sex Therapy is couples or Relationship Counseling. In my work with couples I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy, Marshall Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication (NVC) and Internal Family Systems. I have also studied Gottman and I do often offer homework assignments for those who want it. I frequently work with couples who are incorporating polyamory or other forms of ethical non monogamy into their relationships. I also work with cross-race and cross-class couples who need support around topics of racial and economic equity that show up in their intimate lives. Most of my couples therapy clients are queer or trans in some form (sometimes one member of a couple or sometimes both) and while sometimes they are navigating topics related to their queerness or transness they are just as often dealing with the garden variety challenges couples face. I welcome straight and heterosexual clients and couples as well! Regardless of sexual orientation or gender, I find many of my couples clients struggling around division of labor in the household and especially around emotional labor. 

More recently I’ve started seeing more couples who are in stable and well relationships who want to do maintenance and preventative work (build the foundation for?)  to ensure they move smoothly into the next 5-10 years of their partnerships.

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